Girl on bike to family on bikes, loudly: I said my arse hurts and he said “mine doesn't, I'm good at taking it!”

–Rottnest Island, Western Australia

Overheard by: Victoria

Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.

–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

Overheard by: check please!

Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Mom to young son sliding down wooden handrail: Charlie! Did someone get a splinter in his butt?

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Sarabeth and Jesse

Beach guy to bikini girl: I'd bend over, but my arse hurts too much.

–Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Felicity

Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Black woman to toddler running wild: Tyrone, get yo' black ass over here or I will spank you like a white man!

–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: White girl

Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: AP

Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl to friend: I think he thinks ’cause he’s speaking gangsta I can’t hear him.

–Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Steph