Teenage girl: I can't wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It's not for her, stupid, it's for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy-style.
–St. Simon's Island, Georgia
Overheard by: John
Tiny mullet kid: Spank the hiney! Spank the hiney!
Surfer passerby: Spank the hiney? Awesome!
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Girl on bike to family on bikes, loudly: I said my arse hurts and he said “mine doesn't, I'm good at taking it!”
–Rottnest Island, Western Australia
Overheard by: Victoria
Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.
–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Overheard by: check please!
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Mom to young son sliding down wooden handrail: Charlie! Did someone get a splinter in his butt?
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sarabeth and Jesse
Beach guy to bikini girl: I'd bend over, but my arse hurts too much.
–Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Felicity
Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
