Questions

Kid #1: Hey -how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.

–Brighton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Emily

Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.

–St Avalon, New Jersey

Overheard by: Himbo

Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!

–Florence, Oregon

Overheard by: Johm

Teen Girl: I can't eat this ice cream.
Bruster's Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it's frozen in the middle.
Bruster's Employee: It's ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it's frozen in the middle and I can't eat it.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Girl #1, playing Taboo and giving clues for “big brother”: Ummm. I have two of them!
Girl #2: Hands? Eyes?
Girl #1: No! Um! Um! Big? Large?
Girl #2: Legs!
Girl #1: Oh my god!

–Newcastle, Australia

Guy #1: What's going on? The sun went down but it's still raining?
Guy #2: Dude, why would the sun going down make it stop raining?
Guy #1: No, it totally does! It never rains at night.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Matt

Little boy's brother: Why are you screaming?
Little boy: Because I'm Hillary Clinton!

–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine

Overheard by: Sara

Child: Does that man have an accent?
Mother: He might just be retarded.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Rex

Dude in hot tub: Wait, we didn’t do it? So we aren’t in trouble?!

–Carnival Ecstasy cruise

30 something guy standing at bar: So she asked me if I had ever slept with a stripper.
Friend: What did you say?
30 something guy: I told her the truth… I said “yeah, I slept with a stripper, of course.”

–Austin, Texas