Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?
–Lake Michigan
Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?
–Lake Michigan
Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Little kid: Mommy, what are those squishy things that hang by big, round balls?
Mom: Are you talking about jellyfish and tentacles?
Little kid: Yeah, that’s it: testicles.
–Huntington Beach, Surf City, California
Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Boss: What do you call this finger in English?
Employee: The ring finger.
Boss: Ok, how about this one?
Employee: Uh, hold it right there [takes a picture] That’s the middle finger.
Boss: I see. How about the little one?
Translated from the Japanese
–Beach BBQ in Toyama, Japan
Wifey turning from looking at ocean: This is so nice. What elevation are we at?
Hubby: … Seriously?
Wifey: Yes.
Hubby: Um… Sea level, honey.
Wifey: Oh. Yeah.
–Ka’anapali Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: D-Rock
Blonde: If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be?
Redhead: Um…
Blonde: Well, you are what you eat. You can be monkey fudge!
Redhead: What?!
Blonde: Oh, wait, I mean Chunky Monkey. I’m making fun of your husband!
Redhead: You know, I’m the one drinking here.
Blonde: If you were any hat, what would you be?
Redhead: No.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jenn
