Girl: I’m trying to learn some Spanish before we go to Puerto Rico in May.
Guy: I took two years of French in high school, and all I can say is ‘Donde esta la biblioteca.’
–Mexican restaurant, Kemah, Texas
Girl: I’m trying to learn some Spanish before we go to Puerto Rico in May.
Guy: I took two years of French in high school, and all I can say is ‘Donde esta la biblioteca.’
–Mexican restaurant, Kemah, Texas
Sorority girl: He’s fucking GAY! How the fuck am I supposed to fuck a fucking gay guy?!
–Galveston, Texas
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.
–Padre Island, Texas
B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!
–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas
Drunk guy: Dude, which way is the beach?!
Sober friend: We’re on an island! You figure it out!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: The Other
10-year-old boy to younger brother: All mother nature gave you is a bag of shit.
–North Padre, Texas
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Waiter to customer: Sir, you just missed her. She looks hotter. She just got a transplant.
–South Padre Island, Texas
