Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
–Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
–Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)
–Fort Walton Beach, Florida
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
Young black male: Yo, I wish this was an urban beach. Like Chicago.
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Rob
Girl: You have to take your shoes off to walk in the sand.
Guy: I’ll wait until we find a spot.
Girl: What? Walking in the sand with your shoes is like fucking your mom and not cleaning up afterwards.
Guy: Okay, okay!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: JD
20-something girl, talking about new guy she's dating: Yeah, he's kind of indie.
20-something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20-something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.
–San Clemente Beach, California
Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
