Teen girl: SPF? Oh my god, that’s Britney’s baby’s initials! I wonder if she did that on purpose.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: TJ
Teen girl: SPF? Oh my god, that’s Britney’s baby’s initials! I wonder if she did that on purpose.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: TJ
Frat boy to girl walking by and ignoring him: Is it because of my hair? Cause I'll change that!
–Mission Beach, San Diego, California
Drunk chick on raft: Hey, Mike*, would you love Kelly* more if she did a beer funnel?
Mike*, on another raft: We're married. I don't have to love her at all.
–Rafting Down Delaware River
Overheard by: twoferrets
Obnoxious girl #1: You must just have an abnormal period or something.
Obnoxious girl #2: Yeah, cause you're definitely not pregnant.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: j and kris
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
Girl to boy: Damn, look at those calluses on your hands! Do you masturbate with sandpaper or something?
–Tampa, Florida
Girl: If I use cooking oil, do you think I’ll tan twice as fast?
Boy: No, but you’ll probably smell like bacon.
–Corolla, Outer Banks, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mandy
Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine!
–Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Girl #1: And she was like, “Is it too blonde?”
Girl #2: Ah! Like, you can never be too blonde!
Girl #1: Exactly.
–Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: J.J.
Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can’t marry you. That’d be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can’t marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!
–Orchard Beach, New York
Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks
