Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step‐dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.

–Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: kristen

Tan chick: But if we go to the spa, I don’t want them to facial my tan away!

–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hb

Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole… NO! My back hole!

–Sacandaga Lake, New York

Overheard by: sherpa

Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Jo

Little boy: I don’t want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that’s the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!

–Byron Bay, Australia

Seven‐year old boy: Those boys over there are looking at you.
Bronzed teen sister in bikini: Oh really? [Looks pleased.]Seven-year old boy: Yeah. I guess it’s cause you have that weird sunburn.

–Liberia, Costa Rica

Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It’s okay, he’s bright on the inside. It’s good for him.

–Pacific Beach, California

Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen?

–Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: KP

Mid‐twenties gal: (shows bottle of sunscreen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid‐twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid‐twenties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sunscreen on her back)
Mid‐twenties guy: Can you get the rest yourself?
Mid‐twenties gal: Yeah, I’ll just finish myself off.
Mid‐twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid‐twenties gal: Oh, shut‐up!

–St. Paul, Minnesota

Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky‐ass, motherfucking whore!

–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Marizzle