Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

Girl #1: Oh wow, you got so many freckles today!
Guy: Why does everyone keep saying that? Do freckles come from the sun or something?
Girl #2: Um… yeah?
Guy: I just kinda thought they showed up. Like sometimes they're here, and sometimes they're not.
Girl #1: Um, no, it's not random. Like, I ate some cheese, so now I'm freckled.
Girl #2: Or, I'm really freckled cuz I'm tired.

–Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece

Overheard by: Jules

Sunbathing girl: Ahhh! Burning sensation!

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kristin

White girl #1: I can feel the sun eating away my paleness!
White girl #2: I was going to say I can feel the sun busting apart my DNA…

–Caye Caulker, Belize

Very sunburned tourist man to very sunburned tourist lady: Well, I don't think we can get sunburned in the water.

–Bimini, Bahamas

Overheard by: Chey

White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?

–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Cara

Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: the imbiber

Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.

–Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: kristen

Tan chick: But if we go to the spa, I don’t want them to facial my tan away!

–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hb

Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole… NO! My back hole!

–Sacandaga Lake, New York

Overheard by: sherpa