Girls

College girl #1: Oh my God! Look at his bulge!
College girl #2: He must have a huge dick.
Random lady: Sluts!

–Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: tanned tourist

Buff guy, after ordering an extra “floater” shot on top of his strawberry daiquiri: Is ordering that gay?
Friend: Not any gayer than drinking a daiquiri.

–Newport Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: ThoseGuys

20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I'm fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: jenny

Senior week girl: Why can’t we bring beer bottles on the beach?!
Senior week guy: Seriously… Isn’t sand made of glass anyway?

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Kim Beegle

Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There's bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!

–Sanibel Island, Florida

Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!

–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja

Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: H K

Punked out teenage girl #1 (looking at Monterey on the other side of the bay): What's that island over there?
Punked out teenage girl #2: Um, I think that's Japan.
Punked out teenage girl #1: Oh, yeah.

–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California

Girl on phone: Did you go to my car yet? (pause) Shit, I wanted you to grab my deodorant. (pause) You have deodorant? (disgusted pause) I'm not going to use deodorant you just scraped off yourself!

–Coney Island, New York

Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal