30-ish guy #1: I see you’re sporting the side ponytail.
30-ish girl: Just for you!
30-ish guy #2: Yeah, I bet you’re gonna jack off to that side ponytail.
30-ish guy #1: No! I jack off to the idea of the side ponytail. They’re coming back, I tell ya!
–Summerfest, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the only sober person there
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Guy to girl: There's some drunk people over there. Don't look at them.
–La Jolla, California
Chick, passing another reading Brave New World: That girl was reading a book about Columbus, I think.
–East Matunuck State Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: it's got a Savage, but no Columbus
Girl: So, out of all the people in this circle, who have you been sexually involved with?
Queer: Does pecking count?
Girl: Yes.
Queer points at everyone.
Girl 1: You man-whore! So, if pecking doesn’t count, who have you done anything with?
Queer: Everyone except her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: shutterbug
Girl: Do you hipsters wear glasses?
Boy: Only if it's not necessary.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Paperback Writer
Girl #1: Whenever I go to Europe I just say I'm Canadian and they don't get weird like they do if you say you're American.
Girl #2: No way I'm claiming to be Canadian! Have you talked to those people?
–Austin, Texas
Sober girl: You have no idea what’s going on!
Drunk blonde: Yes I do! I am still totally relevant to what is going on!
Sober girl: Wait, what?
Drunk blonde: Oh, relevant of! Relevant of what is going on!… Aren’t these shoes sexy?
–Santa Barbara, California
Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it's not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.
–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Alyssa
