Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!
–Mexican cruise
Overheard by: Lydia
Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!
–Mexican cruise
Overheard by: Lydia
Girlfriend: Hey, wanna have sex in the water later?
Boyfriend: Of course.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kristy Y
Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.
–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Borat was from Kazakhstan–that's a real country!
Boyfriend: No it's not!
Girlfriend: Yes it is, it's over in the Eastern European area! You are so up your ass right now!
–Kaanapali Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Megan
Girlfriend: Hey, do you know I heard down in Brazil they, like, mix sand in with their suntan lotion so that it exfoliates their skin?
Boyfriend: That’s fucking stupid.
Girlfriend: Tell me about it! I tried it last year and got a nasty rash. So this year I’m using sand and baby oil.
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: Neeri
Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Husband: There are always thieves on the beach.
Wife: Well, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine up my ass?
Husband: Well, there are.
Wife: You are just a ray of fucking sunshine up my ass! All day (imitating husband) “I can’t smoke here, I can’t drink here, there are thieves on the beach.”
–East Matunuck State Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Penny Lane
Girlfriend: It’s so beautiful here in Cape Cod. Wasn’t David Copperfield set in Cape Cod?
Boyfriend: Wait? You mean like the magician?
–Ferry to Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JFN
