Couples

Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.

–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Girl to boyfriend: I have to go to the bathroom.
Boyfriend: Okay, but just don't let anyone hit on you there.

–St. Simon's Island, Georgia

Overheard by: Layla

Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.

–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

World’s best wife: Honey, twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: Huh? No, it’s not. It’s two-thirty.
World’s best wife: I mean twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: I don’t get you.
World’s best wife: Look straight ahead.
Clueless husband: Why?
World’s best wife: Look at the hot chick right in front of you! Look! Look!
Clueless husband: Oh!…Niiice.

–Grand Beach, Manitoba

Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.

–Kennebunk Beach, Maine

Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!

–Mexican cruise

Overheard by: Lydia

Husband: Babe, we need to pick up another 12 pack and then go get the kids.
Wife: Finish your beer first.

–Chick’s Beach, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike

Girlfriend: Hey, wanna have sex in the water later?
Boyfriend: Of course.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kristy Y

Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.

–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico