Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.
–The Point, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Greg P
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Thommy
Boy: So are we ready to go?
(no response)
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Sorry, my eyes were closed.
–Oceanside Beach, California
Middle-aged man: Hi, girls. I was wondering if I could borrow one of your magazines. My wife is really bored and forgot her book. I’ll give you a drink in return.
Group of 20-ish girls: No problem. Here’s a People mag.
Middle-aged man: Thanks. See ya.
Middle-aged woman walks over laughing and whispers: Girls, my husband is so shy — I can’t believe he actually did that! And do you know what I have to do in return? [Girls stare.] I have to give him a blowjob tonight!
–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Meghan
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Girl to boyfriend: I have to go to the bathroom.
Boyfriend: Okay, but just don't let anyone hit on you there.
–St. Simon's Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Layla
Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
