Girl: We have to start drinking. It’s the only thing that will make us feel normal.
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Amy
Girl: We have to start drinking. It’s the only thing that will make us feel normal.
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Amy
Asian girl: He fell in my hole and won’t get out!
–Long Beach, New York
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Ditzy chick: What are you doing today?
Skater kid: Chillin’ like a villain.
Other girl: The ’90s called – they want ‘Chillin’ like a villain’ back.
Ditzy chick: How do the ’90s call?
–Ventnor, New Jersey
Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Dude #1: That girl is hot!
Dude #2: I’d like to duct tape her to a chair!
Dude #2’s girlfriend: You’re into that?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Child: Mommy, do the fish come from the ocean or the country club?
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can’t marry you. That’d be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can’t marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!
–Orchard Beach, New York
Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks
Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?
–Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
