Michigan

Dwarf to drunk chick at bar: So, have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

–Manistee, Michigan

Overheard by: Gabby

Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?

–Lake Michigan

Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn't it look like this in Chicago?

–Petoskey, Michigan

Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

Girl wearing bikini to group of girls wearing chunky sneakers, shorts with suspenders and bedazzled tank tops: Why are you guys wearing that?
Girl in group, nonchalantly: Cuz' we lookin' swagalicious.

–St. Joseph, Michigan

Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible.

–Michigan

Girl, noticing bird poop on leg: Oh, shit! Why do I always get pooped on?!

–Oval Beach, Michigan

Overheard by: Steph

White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.

–Pickerel Lake, Michigan

Overheard by: Maude Lynne

20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!

–Michigan

Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.

–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Andrea