Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?

French guy says nothing.

Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!

–Côte d’Azur, France

Overheard by: Another Swede

Woman #1: I haven’t had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn’t count, because I don’t enjoy it.

–Brittany Beach, France

American girl #1: So, did you bring the book?
American girl #2: What book?
American girl #1: The book.
American girl #2: Ohh… Ant farm?
American girl #1: No. The bible. Fucking idiot.

–Aix en Provence, France

Overheard by: Ant Farm pretty much IS the Bible

English girl reading menu: Oh my god. What? It’s all in foreign!

–Beach cafe, Northern France

Overheard by: Jess

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

Little girl, crying: He’s not coming! He said he was going to come, and now he’s not coming!
Apathetic, topless, overly-tan mom: Go home. Eat something.

–Palavas-les-Flots, France (translated from French)

Overheard by: Christine