Redneck spring breaker ordering from ceviche stand: Lemme try some of that shave-ice.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Bet he didn’t like it

Redneck, looking at fish tank: How many of them there fish you reckon I could shoot?

–Ripley's Aquarium, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lost all hope in humanity

Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.

–Holland State Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Townie

Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You’re younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: anna

Redneck dude: Hey man, can I borrow some suntan lotion?
Yuppie dude: Sure! (squirts some in his hand)
Redneck dude: Thanks, guy! (walks back to hotel room)

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: ikki nikki

Redneck lady coming out of a liquor store: She must have been drunk when she named her kid “Jose Cuervo”.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Redneck mother: Where’d all this sand come from?
Redneck daughter: Disney, probably.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Angela Cimato

Fat redneck girl: You know what I wanted last night? A plum!
Skinny redneck guy: Me, too! Last night after me and you got in that fight, all I kept thinking about was how I wanted me a big, juicy plum!

–Navarre Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Wendy

Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?

–Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico

Overheard by: sheila