Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…
–Malibu, California
Little boy's brother: Why are you screaming?
Little boy: Because I'm Hillary Clinton!
–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine
Overheard by: Sara
Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can't have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don't want that! It's titty gum.
Annoying girl: It's not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!
–Canadia
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
[Guy on Harley drives by with Pat Benatar’s “Love Is a Battlefield” blasting.]Chubby girl #1: What the hell?
Chubby girl #2: That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
–Bookfair, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Jamie
Blonde teen: On a scale from 1 to 10, how slutty am I?
Brunette teen: 10.
Blonde teen: What? Oh my god, you bitch!
Brunette: You tried to hook up with my father.
Blonde: Oh, yeah…
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Erin
Overweight mother: I don't want to be a gladiator!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Guy, looking at girlfriend's dog sniffing another dog: Dog breeding is awesome!
–Newport Pier, Newport Beach, California
