Pee

Dude #1: Yo, there are so many garbage cans here. I bet if you tried you could piss in that one from here.
Dude #2: Gross, man!
Dude #1: Okay, well, here goes!

–Coney Island, New York

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I’ll never swim again

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I’ll never swim again

Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that’s all I ask. Is that too much to ask?

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Jericho

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don’t know… I guess I’m like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don’t know… I guess I’m like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

20‐something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20‐something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20‐something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20‐something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Girl: Can you tell me why you’re pissing on the sand?
Guy: We’re in Jersey.
Girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Jersey’s dirty. It’s your duty as an American to fuckin’ keep it that way, bitch.

–Merivale Avenue, Beach Haven, New Jersey

Overheard by: Snow White

Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!

–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California

Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.

–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Riley