Girl: Wait, so I'm cheating on you… with myself?!
Guy: Exactly!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I've had here I've never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Gary & Nadja
Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it's weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don't want her to think we're gay.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring.
–Rio Del Mar Beach, California
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Girl to friend: I can't tell if he's hot either, because I don't know how much money he has.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: sara
Nerd, to blind date: And the best part about this guy is that he’s half man, half rat, and he’s living in a WOOD ELF society!
–Steak ‘n Shake, Palm Beach, Florida
