Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn't that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say.
–Bar Harbor, Maine
Tattooed, bare-chested male #1: You could definitely walk a dog out here.
Tattooed, bare-chested male #2: You cannot! If you bring a dog onto a hot ass fuckin' boardwalk, the heat does not escape through his balls or his tongue.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: SMS
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Cop, pointing to trash can filled rim with beer and alcohol bottles: Are all of these yours?
Tall man, pointing to one lone bottle: Well, that one's not mine.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It's better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice
Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin' staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He's giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.
–Ocean Beach, California
Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I'm sweating like a fat chick!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Lilian
