Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
Attitude woman: The one with the most gets crowned King or Queen.
Flippant woman: Okay, crowns sure, but the part about being drenched in pig blood and killing everyone in the gymnasium remains unspoken.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: nan moran
College guy: First of all, this isn't real life. This is vacation.
–Coco Cay, Bahamas
Overheard by: Madi
Girl to friend: Can I have some of your penis jelly?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Girl: I had this weird dream about anal sex last night. I think it was from when you were joking around when I was bent over the sink before.
Boy: I wasn’t joking around.
–Bradley Beach, New Jersey
College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
Female snowbird: Conch fritters? What’s conch?
Male snowbird: Didn’t you read Lord of the Flies? You need the conch shell to talk.
Female snowbird: You want me to eat a ceremonial shell?
–Frenchy’s, Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sarah d.
