Weirdness

Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I’m gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: mar

Beefy guy to group of beefy friends: Pomegranate and Red Bull? That’s heaven in a cup!

–South Beach, Miami

Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor‐blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.

–Siesta Beach, Florida

Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary

Drunk guy #1: You keep condoms and stamps in your wallet?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah.
Drunk guy #1: So what are you gonna do, bang her and send her a thank you note?

–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Well, it WOULD be a nice gesture…

Beach‐goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: BAJAZEUS

Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people’s blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn’t it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it’s not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…

–Hawaii

Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’

–Restaurant, Mammoth, California

Guy on cell: Yes, I’m on the beach. I told you, I’m in the Caribbean this week.

–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: debbie downer

Stoned guy #1: Look at the moon, its all halfy and shit.
Stoned guy #2: You said it in a tone like you’re in a Frankenstein movie.

–Near the Cannal, Serbia

Overheard by: Uros Jovanovic