Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Girl: I had this weird dream about anal sex last night. I think it was from when you were joking around when I was bent over the sink before.
Boy: I wasn’t joking around.
–Bradley Beach, New Jersey
College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
Female snowbird: Conch fritters? What’s conch?
Male snowbird: Didn’t you read Lord of the Flies? You need the conch shell to talk.
Female snowbird: You want me to eat a ceremonial shell?
–Frenchy’s, Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sarah d.
Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You're crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.
–Provincetown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll
Hyper seven-year-old: Sit!
Frazzled mother: Who are you talking to?
Hyper seven-year-old, matter-of-factly: Myself.
–Taco Bell, Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kiwi
Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!
–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Becka Dash
