Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!
–San Clemente, California
Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!
–San Clemente, California
Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour!
–Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington
Five-year-old at the beach: This is the worst day of my life!
–Brighton, England
Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who's little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!
–Santa Cruz, California
Adorable niece: I can see your wiener because I have X-ray vision!
–Corral Cabana Club, Tampa, Florida
Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
