Little boy running down the beach: Mother nature’s gone all wrong!

–Santa Monica Beach, California

Overheard by: LilRedSeaglass

20‐something girl on cell: The baby‐changing room?! That’s horrid!

–Interislander Ferry, New Zealand

Overheard by: Sally

Guy #1: Let’s go local hunting.
Hot girl: I don’t want to go fucking local hunting.
Guy #2: You should, it’s mad fun. We went to this local party once and got kicked out.
Guy #1: Yeah, but we got the number of this kid who lives here.
Ugly girl: Wait. People live here?

–Westhampton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Doesn’t live there

Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don’t.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.

–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea

Overheard by: InTheNextStall

Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!

–Seaside, Oregon

Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn’t find it. They don’t sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I’m saving some of them to read on the plane ride.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: caySAYhey

Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: arc, mich

Woman standing waist‐deep in water: My labia has atrophied.

–Crescent Lake, Washington

Overheard by: The water really was that cold.

Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)

–Fort Walton Beach, Florida

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we’re there, because I figure by the time we get there we’ll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia