Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don't burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.
–Playground, Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?
–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
Trashy looking blonde, as two girls walk into a party: Ew, why are there smart people here?
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: smart people
Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
Teenage boy: Ugh… Why is this place littered with shells?
–Connecticut
Overheard by: anonymous
Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…
–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine
Overheard by: Amused Locals
Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?
–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey
Girl #1: Come on, get in the water.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl #3: No way! There are sharks!
Girl #1: There aren’t any sharks.
Girl #3: Oh yeah? Then why are there so many bubbles?
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
