Stupidity

Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?

–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii

Bimbette to friend: Hmmm, it smells like the beach…

–Surf & Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Janelle

Aristocrat: Muscles are trashy.

–Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Spencer

Teenage girl: Aw, look at the little kid. He’s digging a hole to nowhere. How cute!
Teenage boy, completely serious: He’s digging to China, you stupid bitch!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Marie

20‐something girl, coming out of the ocean: This water’s salty!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn’t that bad for your lungs or something?

–Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: something like that

Woman: I’m starving! Let’s go get something at Burger King.
Friend: So am I. Hey, did you know that Burger King sells veggie burgers? I just found that out the other day.
Woman: Really? Veggie burgers? What do they use? Like, turkey?

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Teenage girl: Wait, so what time is midnight tonight?

–Punta Cana, Mexico

Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach‐goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!

–Huntington Beach, California