Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
Waiter to customer: Sir, you just missed her. She looks hotter. She just got a transplant.
–South Padre Island, Texas
16-year-old clerk to man buying tampons: Those for you? (snickers)
Tampon-buying man: No, I have a wife. Don't worry, one day when you are all grown up, you will need these too.
–Grocery Store, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Hairdresser to client: Hey… Um… Remember when I did your hair?
Client: Yeah?
Hairdresser: Wait, you were there, right?
Client: Yeah babe, I was there.
–Venice Beach, California
Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.
–Pensacola Beach, Florida
B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!
–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas
Customer: Hey, my car is making a funny noise.
Clerk: What did it sound like?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: How did it go, again?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: I didn’t quite get that — one more time?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk!
Clerk: Hahahaha!
Customer: What?
–AutoZone, Crestview, Florida
Man, answering phone: Talbot Street Watersports, how may I help you?
Customer: Oh, what street are you on?
Man: Still on Talbot Street.
Customer: Oh, good… I was just checking.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: OC Rocket
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
