Stupidity

Ditzy blonde tourist: I’m in New York City, and I have no idea what to do.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Mimi

Idiot chick #1: Oh my god! This sand is sooo much hotter than it was this morning!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah, this morning it wasn’t that hot!
Idiot chick #3: But now it’s really hot!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah!
Idiot chick #1: Not like this morning.
Idiot chick #3: Yeah… It wasn’t that hot this morning.
(brief pause)
Idiot chick #1: Yeah…

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Suzanne

Girl #1: Yeah, so I wore two different colored flip‐flops to the mall. It was so humiliating all day, looking like that.
Girl #2: I would’ve died!

–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York

Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.

–Lake George, New York

Yuppie #1, trying to take over occupied bonfire: It’s okay — we just have to wait for them to light themselves on fire.
Yuppie #2: Yeah, it’s like evolution.

–Dockweiler Beach, California

Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.

–Ocean Beach, California

Overheard by: Stephanie

20‐something guy to deck hand, pointing to stairs: Do these stairs go down?

–Boat, Boston Harbor

Overheard by: Deck Hand

Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: just wanted to take a look at SEA LIONS

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida