Stupidity

Drunk guy: Dude, which way is the beach?!
Sober friend: We’re on an island! You figure it out!

–South Padre Island, Texas

Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: kate

60-something naked man: Yeah, but he was born at a very young age too.

–Sunny Isles, Florida

Overheard by: Kris

Amateur musicologist: Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?

–Phoenix, Arizona

Teen #1 looking down at bikini top: [Sighs] I wish my boobs were bigger. I can’t wait until one day when I’m pregnant — then they’ll grow.
Teen #2: Why don’t you go on birth control? That made Jen’s* and Michelle’s* get a whole cup bigger.
Teen #3: Yeah, Kelly’s*, too.
Teen #1: Really?! Oh, man! I’m gonna go on birth control and get knocked up. Then they’d be huge!

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: CAT

American tourist looking at beach: Whoa! There's a lot of sand!

–Beach, Australia

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

–El Granada, California

Overheard by: davo

Puzzled blonde: Where did all these waves come from? Did a boat just go by or something?

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Megan

Blonde: Why is the water so much saltier on this coast? They really need to stop putting all their extra salt in the water.
Dude: Extra salt?
Blonde: Yeah, isn’t that what the government does — just dumps the barrels of extra salt into the water?

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kristin

Blonde: Oh my god, I’ve been watching ‘Shark Week’ on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don’t know how I’d live without my hands. I’d rather have the shark bite off my arm.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Steve