Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I’m sorry…
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It’s all gonna end in tears!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Higgins
Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I’m sorry…
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It’s all gonna end in tears!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Higgins
Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.
Brief pause.
Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.
–Rehoboth, Delaware
Overheard by: kristen
Guy to pal: Dude, I am pissed. When we were at your mom’s house the other night, she didn’t even give me a taco. That is horse shit. My mom always gives you a taco.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!
–Coney Island, New York
Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!
–Coney Island, New York
Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.
–Ocean Grove, New Jersey
Girl: Can you tell me why you’re pissing on the sand?
Guy: We’re in Jersey.
Girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Jersey’s dirty. It’s your duty as an American to fuckin’ keep it that way, bitch.
–Merivale Avenue, Beach Haven, New Jersey
Overheard by: Snow White
Girlfriend: Oh my God, I totally look like Paris Hilton.
Boyfriend: Yeah, you’re an overtanned, skinny skank.
Girlfriend, excitedly: I know!!
–Shelly Beach, New South Wales, Australia
Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?
–Plum Island, Massachusetts
