Gripes

Skinny girl: Yeah, but why does he always have to spit on me afterwards?

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Overheard by: Grossed Out

Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: yellow mushroom

Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.

–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California

Drunk girl, rolling around in large puddle: It’s a bird bath! Get in!
Angry guy: Get the fuck out of the puddle! You’re not a goddamn bird!

–Bayard Avenue, Dewey Beach, Delaware

Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I’m sorry…
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It’s all gonna end in tears!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Higgins

Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick. 

–Ocean City, Maryland

Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step‐dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.

–Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: kristen

Guy to pal: Dude, I am pissed. When we were at your mom’s house the other night, she didn’t even give me a taco. That is horse shit. My mom always gives you a taco.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Woman in red dress to friend: I ain’t get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!

–Coney Island, New York

Woman in red dress to friend: I ain’t get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!

–Coney Island, New York