Woman to six-year-old son repeatedly throughout the day: Get away from me. Go away! I said leave! I don’t want you here… Come back here where I can see you.
–Goddard State Park, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Claudia
Woman to six-year-old son repeatedly throughout the day: Get away from me. Go away! I said leave! I don’t want you here… Come back here where I can see you.
–Goddard State Park, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Claudia
Teen girl #1: I thought you hated bikinis.
Teen girl #2: I do.
Teen girl #1: Why are you wearing one?
Teen girl #2: Because even though I look fat in it, guys don’t look at you if you’re in tankinis.
Teen girl #1: But it’s okay for them to see your fat.
Teen girl #2: At least this way you look, and if you catch it on time, you just suck in!
–Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts
Overheard by: bikinibabe
Daughter: Thanks for giving me an aneurysm, Mom.
Mother, under her breath: I wish I’d given you an aneurysm.
Daughter: What?
Mother: Nothing, dear.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Five-year-old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!
–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire
Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: awesome teyie
Frivolous tourist: What’s that?
Earnest tourist: That’s an aircraft carrier. San Diego is a big Navy port.
Frivolous tourist: Well, I think it just clutters up the look of the harbor.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Teresa Minnich
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I don’t take off my shoes at the beach.
Baggy-Pants boy #2: How are you going to walk in the water?
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I’ll just keep them on. Is there a law that says you have to be barefoot in the ocean?
Baggy-Pants boy #2: No. But there’s a law that says if you do that, you’re gonna look like a jackass.
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lesley
Girl #1, shaking off sand: Oh, great, now I’m gonna have to take a shower.
Girl #2: I know, like, what’s with all the sand? Ugh, so annoying.
Girl #1: Are you serious? We’re at the beach.
Girl #2: Huh?
–Stinson Beach, California
Overheard by: einstein lives!
