Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy walking on the sand: I fucking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand!
–Jones Beach, New York
Five-year-old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!
–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire
Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: awesome teyie
Frivolous tourist: What’s that?
Earnest tourist: That’s an aircraft carrier. San Diego is a big Navy port.
Frivolous tourist: Well, I think it just clutters up the look of the harbor.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Teresa Minnich
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I don’t take off my shoes at the beach.
Baggy-Pants boy #2: How are you going to walk in the water?
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I’ll just keep them on. Is there a law that says you have to be barefoot in the ocean?
Baggy-Pants boy #2: No. But there’s a law that says if you do that, you’re gonna look like a jackass.
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lesley
Girl #1, shaking off sand: Oh, great, now I’m gonna have to take a shower.
Girl #2: I know, like, what’s with all the sand? Ugh, so annoying.
Girl #1: Are you serious? We’re at the beach.
Girl #2: Huh?
–Stinson Beach, California
Overheard by: einstein lives!
Wifey: I mean, just stop staring at her vagina!
–Cedar Beach, West Islip, Long Island
Overheard by: Indecent Exposure?
Girl: So, like, that Mary was too nice. I swear, if some angel came down and told me I was pregnant with God’s kid, I’d abort it. No immaculate conceptions for me.
–Santa Cruz, California
Asian girl: He fell in my hole and won’t get out!
–Long Beach, New York
