Drunk guy to drunk friends: I love you from the base of my penis!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Allison
Pissed off mom to crying sons: You're goddamned right, we're leaving and we're never coming back!
–Rye Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There's bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!
–Sanibel Island, Florida
Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: H K
Little boy wearing rash guard: Mom, that little boy isn't wearing a shirt.
Mom: Mmm-huh.
Little boy: Why doesn't he have to wear a shirt?
Mom: Because his mom doesn't love him, that's why. He'll get skin cancer and die.
–Salisbury Beach, Massachusetts
Guy #1: She told me that she wants to see other people.
Guy #2: You’re taking this all the wrong way. Now, you can nail that slut over there and she can’t be mad at you when you get back together!
Slut: I would never have you.
–Long Beach, New York
Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who's little Petey? Why would you name it that?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Beach guy to bikini girl: I'd bend over, but my arse hurts too much.
–Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Felicity
