Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.
–Padre Island, Texas
Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!
–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: just getting some beers
Middle aged woman: And, like, you can just tell he doesn't truly love her or respect her as a woman because he lets her go out like that. I mean, my husband will always tell me to put a t-shirt on under something that's too low-cut, 'cause he doesn't want anyone staring. Now he loves me.
–Malibu, California
Early 30s woman: I was feeling bad, like I wasn’t on schedule or something. Then I saw who she was marrying and I didn’t feel so bad.
–Lake Michigan, Illinois
Overheard by: Midwest Values
Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.
–Beaufort, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….
Drunk girl, holding a can of Milwaukee’s Best, sadly: …I feel bad for Milwaukee.
–Santa Barbara, California
Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: roxana
Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.
–Fort Myers Beach, Florida
Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color!
–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
