Little boy: Why do you live in New York now?
Uncle: Well, the family don't love me anymore.
Little boy: Huh? But…?
Uncle: Yeah, but you're lucky, they still love you. If they didn't, you'd have to live in New York with me.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kate-in-Oz
Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!
–Fernandina Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Katred
Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.
–St Avalon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Himbo
[Guy on Harley drives by with Pat Benatar’s “Love Is a Battlefield” blasting.]Chubby girl #1: What the hell?
Chubby girl #2: That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
–Bookfair, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Jamie
Latino guy #1: I'm gonna fuck her so hard she'll feel it in her culo.
Latino guy #2: If she really loved you, she'd let you stick it in her culo.
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Geni
Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!
–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota
Excited teenage girl on cell: Dude, that’s so beat!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Tim
Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.
–Kennebunk Beach, Maine
