Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?
–Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?
–Wellfleet, Massachusetts
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Police officer: You’re under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they’re from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
–Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
Guy #1: Look at that girl over there! Now if that isn’t hot, I don’t know what is.
Guy #2: Don’t even dream about it! She’s at least a nine.
Guy #1: Well, then, I’ll just go over and talk to her, and when we start making out, you can cry yourself to sleep.
A guy with a beer walks over and kisses her.
Guy #1: Well played, sir.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Girlfriend: It’s so beautiful here in Cape Cod. Wasn’t David Copperfield set in Cape Cod?
Boyfriend: Wait? You mean like the magician?
–Ferry to Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JFN
Girl: In my head I’m like, ‘Have you looked in the mirror, Seinfeld? You look like a fuckin’ beached whale.’ God, I love him.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Brittney
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!
Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Bryan
Tourist guy #1: I never thought you’d look good in Bermuda shorts.
Tourist guy #2: Right.
Tourist guy #1: But you do! You really do!
–Broadsands, South Devon, United Kingdom
Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.
–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
