Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too
Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Arlene M Franks
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don't
Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I'm gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: mar
Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
Girl: I really wish I was a vampire, then I could suck people's blood.
Friend: (completely silent)
Girl: That was kinda creepy sounding, wasn't it?
Friend: Well, I mean, it's not a bad thing to like biting people, but it is kinda frowned on to mention it…
–Hawaii
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.
–Fripp Island, South Carolina
