The "Hasselhoff Effect" in Action

Drunk man: [Bumps into girl and puts his hand around her to move her aside.] Sorry.
Girl: Eww! You’re dirty!
Drunk man: C’mon, you know you like it!
Girl: Eww! [Drunk man walks away.] Call me!!

–Manhattan Beach, California

Overheard by: Snoog

Posted on August 23, 2023
Bimbettes, California, Dating, Drunks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Offers and requests, Physical Appearance, Wishes

Would It Help If You Stopped Chewing Gum?

Woman on surfboard to another: And now my husband wants me to play with his balls while I'm giving him a blowjob. Who does he think I am? I can't even do this! (tries to pat head and rub stomach at the same time)

–Flat Island, Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: TheHammstr

Posted on August 17, 2023
BJs, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Hawaii, Hootchies, Marriage, Stupidity, Wishes

Your Editors Blame Australian Beer

Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Kermit

Posted on August 14, 2023
Animals, Australia, Health & Hygiene, Preppies, Questions, Sex, Stupidity, Wishes

…Go Play with That Shiny Medical Waste, Becky.

Little girl, getting to beach: Wow, look! Sea shells! I'm gonna find a real one today!
Mom and dad, disinterested: Mm-hmm…

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Posted on August 4, 2023
Family, Kids, Nature, Parents, Wishes

Also What God Was Going for

Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!

–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: think I can say

Posted on July 24, 2023
Canadia, Kids, Nature, Stupidity, Wishes

If Gilligan Could Have a Coconut Radio, Anything's Possible

Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?

–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Responsible Tourist

Posted on July 23, 2023
Asian people, Default, Girls, Guys, Hawaii, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

If You Listen Closely, You Can Hear Her Brain Going Snap, Crackle, Pop

Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: i like rice krispies

Posted on July 16, 2023
Comebacks, Default, Food, Girls, Idiots, New York, Stupidity, Wishes

That's Your Answer to Everything!

Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.

–Playa Mia, Mexico

Overheard by: Peeto

Posted on July 15, 2023
Girls, Mexico, Physical Appearance, Questions, Wishes, Words

An Overabundance of Sand and Sun, for One Thing

Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too

Posted on July 2, 2023
Couples, Dads, Default, Family, Feelings, Florida, Insults, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Swimming, Wishes, Words

If Anything Comes Off, Just Put It Back

Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Arlene M Franks

Posted on June 30, 2023
Dads, Delaware, Kids, Sensory Experiences, Wishes

Wishes