Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.

–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach

Teenage girl: So I’ve decided not to be a slut anymore.

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Man to wife and daughter: Hey! I've shat my pants before and it really wasn't that bad, so I'd be willing to do it again.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.

–San Francisco, California

Overheard by: so not PC

Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!

–Hermosa Beach, California

Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.

–Mission Bay, San Diego, California

Beach guy #1: We need to find some slutty girls tonight.
Beach guy #2: Yeah, sluts are great for hangovers.

–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jellyfish Jaq

Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?

–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts

Stoner #1: Do you want a Bud or…?
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: I also have Sam Adams Summers Ale.
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: And Bass Ale.
Stoner #2: No ales!

–Bonnet Shores, Rhode Island

Overheard by: I like Ales