Wishes

20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”

–Siesta Key, Florida

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Mother to toddler in wetsuit: Look! There's a naked baby! Do you wanna be naked and play with the naked baby? Let's go meet the naked baby.

–Lake Beach, Maine

Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?

–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California

Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it's weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don't want her to think we're gay.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Grandmother to two small children near cliff: Only one of you at a time, I don't want to be responsible for two small children falling off the cliff.

–Fort Williams Park, Maine

Chick: Do you guys live here?
Guy #1: Yep, right over there.
Chick: And what about you?
Guy #2: No, I don’t live here.
Chick: Where do you live?
Guy #2: Everywhere. I’m a hobo.
Chick: No, you’re not.
Guy #2: Yes, I’m a hobo. I sleep on the beach, and I eat out of trash cans. I’m a hobo.
Chick: I want to be a hobo.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Supercharger

Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy.

–Dolphin Cove, Jamaica

Overheard by: bea arthur

Smart guy: The ocean would be so much better if there wasn’t salt in it. Then it’d be perfect.

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank