Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!
–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Marizzle
Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Frenchie
Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.
–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Killsborough
Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.
–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Rebecca
