Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah‐jay‐jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah‐jay‐jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don’t.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
Bikini blonde #1: I’m not dumb, I’m on vacation.
Bikini blonde #2: The ocean makes me wet.
–Varadero, Cuba
Overheard by: beach ginger
Fat blubbery man to wife: C’mon already! Let’s go in the water – I gotta take a piss!
–Caribbean
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!
–Jamaica
Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six‐year‐old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn’t leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Canadian girl to Americans: Oh my god! You guys speak Canadian? We’ve been looking for other people who speak Canadian!
American guy: Yup, only Canadian. No American or English. Only Canadian.
Canadian girl: Awesome! Me, too!
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother‐in‐law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
Girl #1: Because I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Oh, really? I didn’t know.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Ohhhh.
–Cavehill, Barbados
