Gripes

Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!

–Jersey Shore

Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.

–Huatulco, Mexico

10-year-old girl: My virgin arms! My virgin arms!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Confused

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.

–Warren Dunes, Michigan

Overheard by: Syd O’Banion

Trendy overdressed girl: Oh my god, did you see all those teenagers lurking outside? They think they're so fucking cool! God!
Trendy overdressed guy: I know.
Trendy overdressed girl: It's like, ever since we turned 20, I can't believe we ever hung out with people like that.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: 22-year-old who's glad she never hung out with either of them

Dude: What does that mean anyways, ‘Catch you on the flip side,’ huh?
Chick: Yeah, where the fuck is the flip side?

–Dockweiler Beach, Playa del Rey, California

Overheard by: kitty

Chinese guy #1, taking picture: It’s too bad the American flag is fluttering in the background.
Chinese guy #2, posing for the shot: Don’t worry, I’ll photoshop it to a Chinese flag on my computer.

Translated from the Chinese.

–Laguna Beach, California

Overheard by: Jackie

Woman on beach towel: I’ve never met a ferret that didn’t bite me.

–Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Laura From Aurora