Gripes

Chick #1: I can’t put these pictures on MySpace! I look fat!
Chick #2: I’ll put them on MySpace. I’m a skinny bitch.

–Jones Beach, New York

Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…

–Auckland, New Zealand

Overheard by: Shakira

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Guy #1: I can't believe he left us!
Guy #2: Yeah, me either. It really sucks being stuck on this fucking island with no hot chicks. I don't have a fucking shirt and I'm freezing my balls off!
Guy #1: Yeah, I know what you mean.

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!

–Jersey Shore

Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.

–Huatulco, Mexico

10-year-old girl: My virgin arms! My virgin arms!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Confused

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.

–Warren Dunes, Michigan

Overheard by: Syd O’Banion