Dude #1: So, I’m up for this reality show…
Dude #2: Hey, congratulations!
Dude #1: But in this contract they want me to sign it says, ‘We reserve the right to use any footage that embarrasses, humiliates, defames, or otherwise ruins your fucking life.’ I’m not signing that shit.

–West Hollywood, California

Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.

–Fripp Island, South Carolina

20‐something Hamptons girl: And it was like me and John, and then like ten other people we didn’t know in this big house. It was like The Real World! And… it was awesome!

–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York

Overheard by: wondering where this story began

Girl to friend: I’m going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.

–Tampa, Florida

Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don’t watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Enjoys the gays

Teen girl #1 to cute boy: Wow, you’re from Romania?
Teen girl #2: Do you have, like, MTV Asia?

–Avalon, New Jersey

Bostonian #1: I was thinking I should try out for Saturday Night Live or somethin’.
Bostonian #2: Yeah, you should, Vin. You are funny!
Bostonian #1: Yeah, I know! I mean, who’s funnier than me? Except for, you know, comedians.

–South Beach, Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts

Overheard by: luna

Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet‐looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Girl in the ocean to onshore friend: Come out here! I’m like The Little Mermaid without Sebastian! I don’t even have flounder!
Girl on shore: (shakes head no)
Girl in the ocean: Come on! You’ve seen Baywatch! Jog!

–Smith’s Point, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Andi

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily