Young girl, yelling: This isn't The Hills. This is real life!

–No Doubt & Paramore Concert, West Palm Beach, Florida

Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum

Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.

–South Padre Island, Texas

Overheard by: The Other

Girl: In my head I’m like, ‘Have you looked in the mirror, Seinfeld? You look like a fuckin’ beached whale.’ God, I love him.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Brittney

Dude #1: So, I’m up for this reality show…
Dude #2: Hey, congratulations!
Dude #1: But in this contract they want me to sign it says, ‘We reserve the right to use any footage that embarrasses, humiliates, defames, or otherwise ruins your fucking life.’ I’m not signing that shit.

–West Hollywood, California

Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.

–Fripp Island, South Carolina

20-something Hamptons girl: And it was like me and John, and then like ten other people we didn't know in this big house. It was like The Real World! And… it was awesome!

–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York

Overheard by: wondering where this story began

Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.

–Tampa, Florida

Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don't watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Enjoys the gays

Teen girl #1 to cute boy: Wow, you're from Romania?
Teen girl #2: Do you have, like, MTV Asia?

–Avalon, New Jersey