Guy #1: Wow, I guess Michigan is the fattest state.
Guy #2: No way is it the fattest state. Think about Kentucky. An entire town full of fat, ugly chicks, and one Daisy Duke.
Guy #1: Who?
Guy #2: You need to learn more history.
–Lake Michigan
Guy #1: Wow, I guess Michigan is the fattest state.
Guy #2: No way is it the fattest state. Think about Kentucky. An entire town full of fat, ugly chicks, and one Daisy Duke.
Guy #1: Who?
Guy #2: You need to learn more history.
–Lake Michigan
Aunt, looking up at the stars: What is that?
Nephew: Is this the southern or northern hemisphere?
Aunt (giggling): I have no idea.
Cousin, without looking up : That's Orion. You can see Meissa, the star at the top, that's its head. The really bright one is Rigel, that's supposed to be the knee. If you follow the constellation downwards you'll see Sirius.
(blank dumbfounded looks)
Cousin: That's, um, where the aliens from V come from.
Aunt, completely understanding : Ohhhh!
–Beaches of Koh Sumet, Thailand
Random passer-by: Have you seen Shark Week? I'm not going in there!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Anna
Young girl, yelling: This isn't The Hills. This is real life!
–No Doubt & Paramore Concert, West Palm Beach, Florida
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum
Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: The Other
Girl: In my head I’m like, ‘Have you looked in the mirror, Seinfeld? You look like a fuckin’ beached whale.’ God, I love him.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Brittney
Dude #1: So, I’m up for this reality show…
Dude #2: Hey, congratulations!
Dude #1: But in this contract they want me to sign it says, ‘We reserve the right to use any footage that embarrasses, humiliates, defames, or otherwise ruins your fucking life.’ I’m not signing that shit.
–West Hollywood, California
Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.
–Fripp Island, South Carolina
20-something Hamptons girl: And it was like me and John, and then like ten other people we didn't know in this big house. It was like The Real World! And… it was awesome!
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: wondering where this story began
