Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.
–San Clemente Beach, California
Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.
–San Clemente Beach, California
Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
Teen girl #1: God, I hate when people bring their cell phones to the beach.
Teen girl #2: I have my cell phone at the beach right now.
Teen girl #1: Me too.
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.
–Sea Isle, New Jersey
Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water
Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
Girl #1: I don’t know what it is…I just think…
Girl #2: …He’s too nerdy?
Girl #1: No, but I think he might have herpes.
–Long Beach, California
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Chick #1: I can’t put these pictures on MySpace! I look fat!
Chick #2: I’ll put them on MySpace. I’m a skinny bitch.
–Jones Beach, New York
Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…
–Auckland, New Zealand
Overheard by: Shakira
Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
Guy #1: I can't believe he left us!
Guy #2: Yeah, me either. It really sucks being stuck on this fucking island with no hot chicks. I don't have a fucking shirt and I'm freezing my balls off!
Guy #1: Yeah, I know what you mean.
–St. Petersburg, Florida
