Gripes

Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.

–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California

Drunk girl, rolling around in large puddle: It’s a bird bath! Get in!
Angry guy: Get the fuck out of the puddle! You’re not a goddamn bird!

–Bayard Avenue, Dewey Beach, Delaware

Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I’m sorry…
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It’s all gonna end in tears!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Higgins

Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.

–Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: kristen

Guy to pal: Dude, I am pissed. When we were at your mom’s house the other night, she didn’t even give me a taco. That is horse shit. My mom always gives you a taco.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!

–Coney Island, New York

Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!

–Coney Island, New York

Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.

–Ocean Grove, New Jersey

Girl: Can you tell me why you’re pissing on the sand?
Guy: We’re in Jersey.
Girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Jersey’s dirty. It’s your duty as an American to fuckin’ keep it that way, bitch.

–Merivale Avenue, Beach Haven, New Jersey

Overheard by: Snow White