Girls

Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!

–Terrigal, Australia

Chick #1: I think I need glasses or something, I can't even read the name of this song.
Chick #2: That's because your iPod is so scratched up.
Chick #1: Oh.

–Ashwaubomay Park Beach, Green Bay, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Melanie

Chick #1: I think I need glasses or something, I can't even read the name of this song.
Chick #2: That's because your iPod is so scratched up.
Chick #1: Oh.

–Ashwaubomay Park Beach, Green Bay, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Melanie

American girl #1: So, did you bring the book?
American girl #2: What book?
American girl #1: The book.
American girl #2: Ohh… Ant farm?
American girl #1: No. The bible. Fucking idiot.

–Aix en Provence, France

Overheard by: Ant Farm pretty much IS the Bible

Girl to friend: Fuck me up the ass, just don't tell me you love me!

–Manitowoc, Wisconsin

Female snowbird: Conch fritters? What’s conch?
Male snowbird: Didn’t you read Lord of the Flies? You need the conch shell to talk.
Female snowbird: You want me to eat a ceremonial shell?

–Frenchy’s, Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sarah d.

Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It's probably good that I'm not rich. If I were rich, I'd be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I'd still love you, but you'd be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I'm going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that's why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we'd be terrible people.

–Nathan's, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people

Drunk girl, after hearing about a “promise statue”: I’ll tell you what I would do if a guy gave me a promise statue! I’d lube that shit up and stick it up my vag!”

–Long Beach, California

Girl #1: I lost my fucking phone the other day.
Girl #2: Oh no, I hate when that happens.
Girl #1: I know, right? I never know what the time is now!

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne

Overheard by: Alex

20-Something woman, walking on the beach with group of people: I’ll catch up with you. I have to go to the bathroom.

She proceeds to walk into the ocean.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: I’m not swimming in that