Clothes

Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!

–Jamaica

Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto

Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick… And she's topless!
Teenage boy #2: That's a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)

–Long Beach, New York

Guy #1: Nice tie.
Guy #2: Yeah, I got it from a relative.
Little girl: No, you didn’t, Daddy. You got it from me.

–White Rock Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Dan-Mission, B.C.

Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.

–Hobart, Australia

Overheard by: JW

College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?

–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Do I wanna know?

Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!

–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Girl #1: She’s such a ditz. She’s in a band called ‘Bitch Slap,’ and they all wear matching shirts that say ‘Bitch Slap.’
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!

–Coffs Harbour, Australia

Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

–Daytona Beach, Florida

(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?

–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Kara Lang

Girl wearing bikini to group of girls wearing chunky sneakers, shorts with suspenders and bedazzled tank tops: Why are you guys wearing that?
Girl in group, nonchalantly: Cuz' we lookin' swagalicious.

–St. Joseph, Michigan