Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?
–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts
Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?
–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts
Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand… so I can murder it!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Willy
Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
