Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
Dude #1: Wouldn't it be cool if you could just get surgery to switch your heart and, say, your liver?
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: Then, if someone came up to you and said, “I'm gonna stab you in the heart!” you could be like, “I'd like to see you try!”
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Suprchick
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Passing local, to little boy feeding seagulls: Hey, you don’t want to do that. They’ll attack you.
Little boy: Okay. Thank you.
Local walks of earshot.
Little boy: What a bitch.
–St. Pete Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sara
Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Six-year-old girl: Hey! Don't throw sand at me! How would you like it if I threw sand at you? Huh?
Six-year-old boy: Go ahead, I dare you. I wouldn't care, I like the sand. I'll lay down in it right now if you want. Now shut up, and keep digging.
–Fairfield Beach, Ohio
Overheard by: SHU friends