Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…

–Seal Beach, California

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”

–Siesta Key, Florida

Dude #1: Wouldn't it be cool if you could just get surgery to switch your heart and, say, your liver?
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: Then, if someone came up to you and said, “I'm gonna stab you in the heart!” you could be like, “I'd like to see you try!”

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Suprchick

Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary

Passing local, to little boy feeding seagulls: Hey, you don’t want to do that. They’ll attack you.
Little boy: Okay. Thank you.

Local walks of earshot.

Little boy: What a bitch.

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sara

Son: Mommy, why haven't the sharks ripped those other fish apart?

–New York Aquarium, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Six-year-old girl: Hey! Don't throw sand at me! How would you like it if I threw sand at you? Huh?
Six-year-old boy: Go ahead, I dare you. I wouldn't care, I like the sand. I'll lay down in it right now if you want. Now shut up, and keep digging.

–Fairfield Beach, Ohio

Overheard by: SHU friends