Kid: Wouldn't it suck if you had a boogie board with razor blades on it? It'd be like weeeee-aahhhhhhhh!
–Santa Monica, California
Kid: Wouldn't it suck if you had a boogie board with razor blades on it? It'd be like weeeee-aahhhhhhhh!
–Santa Monica, California
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
Attitude woman: The one with the most gets crowned King or Queen.
Flippant woman: Okay, crowns sure, but the part about being drenched in pig blood and killing everyone in the gymnasium remains unspoken.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: nan moran
Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?
–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts
Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand… so I can murder it!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Willy
Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
