Stupidity

JAP lady: Do those planes have to be so loud?

–Air Show with the Blue Angels, Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Joanna

Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole… NO! My back hole!

–Sacandaga Lake, New York

Overheard by: sherpa

Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I’m sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do?
Woman: I’m a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Hey, it’s good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business.
Woman: I’m sure it can’t.
Guy: Well then, how ’bout I just give you my number?
Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy?

–Nahant Beach, Massachusetts

Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Jo

Girl: How do *you* know the spaceship isn't the entrance to my entertainment centre?

–Adelaide, Australia

Overheard by: T

Six-year-old girl (about book on Obama): That's our new President!
Teen: Yeah, do you know what his name is?
Six-year-old girl: Martin Luther King!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori

Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Courtney

Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandy

A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.

Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?

–Deerfield Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Laughing

Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: —No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.

–Hotel, Sydney, Australia