Little boy, angrily to sister: You're such a virgin, Mary!!
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Megan
Little girl: Do a lot of guys try to kiss you at college?
College chick: Ummm… I’m pretty, but that doesn’t mean guys just suddenly try and kiss me.
Little girl: What do you do when they do?
College chick: I think I would slap them.
Little girl: What if he’s naked?
College chick: What, so a naked guy comes up to me and tries to kiss me?
Little girl: What if he gets naked for you?
College chick: How old are you, again?
Little girl: What if he’s naked and there’s sex?
College chick: [Long pause] Uhhh… Do you mean rape?
Little girl: What if he’s like, um, naked and there’s sex?
College chick: … What the…?!
–Coronado Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: chippy
Little girl to friend, after being put back into standing position by a wave: Haha! That wave just knocked me up!
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Teen girl #1: Why the hell are we here?
Teen girl #2: Because we have nothing better to do.
Teen girl #1: Wait… why didn’t we call that guy who did that porno after high school? He’ll do us both.
–Ashwaubomay Lake, Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Lacy Magnolia
Short sister: If I were to be in a porno with anyone, I would choose to be in it with you.
Tall sister: I'm not risking my dignity to be in a porno with my sister. No matter how much you're paying me.
–Lake Kalamalka, Vernon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Sounds like a good time to me.
Teen out past his bedtime: Hey, I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: NerdyChic
Guy #1: Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Guy #2: The drink or actual sex?
Guy #1: Actual sex.
Guy #2: With a girl?
Guy #1: What the hell else would I mean?! Yeah, with a girl!
Guy #2: Like, actually having sex on the sand, like, right here.
Guy #1: Yeah, like in the sand with a girl on the beach, having sex.
Guy #2: You mean, like, full-on bump and grind sex or a quick fingerbang?
Guy #1: Sex, man, sex!
Guy #2: Because there are many types of sex, like anal and oral…
Guy #1: Full fucking sex! Just answer the question! Have you had sex on the beach? Jesus!
Guy #2: No, man, I haven’t.
Guy #1: You’re a fucking moron.
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: walking behind them trying not to bust a gut
Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why.
–Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings
