Sex

Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?

–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida

Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.

Girl: Wait, so I'm cheating on you… with myself?!
Guy: Exactly!

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Girl, after spilling white lotion on the ground: I didn't think it would come… Out.

–Tampa, Florida

Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Mik

20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!

–Michigan

Dude #1: I’d really like to do a girl and her mom at the same time.
Dude #2: I don’t think you’re gonna have any luck here. All these chicks look like they’re between 18 and 25.
Dude #1: So, what’s your point?

–Cancun, Mexico

Overheard by: Beach Frog

Girl: So, out of all the people in this circle, who have you been sexually involved with?
Queer: Does pecking count?
Girl: Yes.

Queer points at everyone.

Girl 1: You man-whore! So, if pecking doesn’t count, who have you done anything with?
Queer: Everyone except her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore.

–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: shutterbug

Preppy white girl to black guy: You just jizzed on my arm and I don't even know you like that yet…

–Tampa, Florida

Reporter: Hey girls, do you have anything you want to say to the camera?
Drunk girl #1: Hi, mum… I’m not that drunk…
Drunk girl #2: And I’m still a virgin!

–Schoolies Week, Gold Coast, Australia

Girl #1: Hey! I'm suprised you're even alive after last night!
Girl #2: Barely…and if Sharon realizes that there is a two-hour period where she doesn't know where Aaron and I were, Rikki's gonna be really mad… She's already mad and she has no idea what happened.
Girl #1: What? Why, what the hell happened when I went to bed?
Girl #2: Well, Sharon thinks Aaron and I were just cuddling since it was such a small bed we were sharing and that I just felt bad that he had to sleep on the floor, but Rikki is really convinced we hooked up.
Girl #1: Well, did you?
Girl #2: Obviously, but we were in Dan's room instead, so she doesn't even know what she's talking about… Wait, you're not mad I hooked up with him, are you?
Girl #1: God, no! I'm proud that you managed to do it in a cottage that small and no one knew! I was against your wall and I had no idea! High five!

–Wasaga Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: I'm Proud Too