Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.
–Newport, Oregon
Overheard by: Sonora
Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.
–Newport, Oregon
Overheard by: Sonora
Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine.
–San Francisco, California
Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!
–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: just getting some beers
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
A dog is humping a newlywed’s leg.
Mother-in-Law: Oh my God, don’t move. I have to get a picture of that!
Son-in-Law: Um…
Mother-in-Law: Okay, I’ve got the camera. Hump away, Curley!
–Lake Superior
Annoyingly loud blonde: You did it in the ocean?!
–Olde Angel Inn Pub, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canadia
Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know…
–Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Alrighty…..
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California