Meathead #1: I was so wasted last night.
Meathead #2: Yeah?
Meathead #1: My girlfriend showed me pictures of me making out with a dude.
Meathead #2: Yeah, I think that was me. 

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tom

Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.

–Lake George, New York

Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.

–Pacific Beach, California

Sunbather to her gal pals: Do you think those guys know that Rick has slept with each of us?

–Lewes, Delaware

Overheard by: Graz

Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?

–Gold Coast, Australia

Skinny girl: Yeah, but why does he always have to spit on me afterwards?

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Overheard by: Grossed Out

Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: yellow mushroom

Middle‐aged guy: Nah, it’s never worth it if you don’t get laid. I mean, I could’ve gotten two hookers for that much!

–Lake Calhoun, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: boris the blade

Guy to another: Dude! I had to google “milf”, I didn’t know what it meant!

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.