Tall blonde: That's fantastic, he seems really great!
Short brunette: You know what I love most about him? He gets me… I mean he really appreciates my sluttiness!
–World Pie, Bridgehampton, New York
Tall blonde: That's fantastic, he seems really great!
Short brunette: You know what I love most about him? He gets me… I mean he really appreciates my sluttiness!
–World Pie, Bridgehampton, New York
Daughter, to mom: So how do you know when to just lay there and when to beat them off?
–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
Guy: Okay, first person to find a used condom wins a prize!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends…
Husband: Yeah… If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I’d be pulling mad Oriental ass.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: lora
Guy: Two for Wanted.
Pregnant girl: You don't need to buy my ticket. I brought money.
Guy: It's the least I could do, after knocking you up.
Pregnant girl: Good point.
–Cape May, New Jersey
Girl on cell: Dude, you could buy a whole bag full of dildos, and he would never know.
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: groovychica
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!
–Terrigal, Australia
Loud Brit on cell: Oh, yes! We’re finally here! It’s so warm here! All quiet — it’s just beautiful! Will you be along soon? Oh… Ah… Uh-huh… So you’re going to have sex? Right, then — see you in a minute! Bye!
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: Avkram
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.
–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Hamish The Li
